Description:
If I were born today, I'd play life strategically. No messy dreams. No embarrassing phases. No "finding myself" in Bali. Just a clean, efficient existence with minimal emotional turbulence. So, I designed the perfect life: low-risk career, conflict-free relationships, hobbies that can't humiliate me. But as the plan gets safer, life gets... suspiciously bland. A chaotic, high-energy hour about fear, control and accidentally optimising yourself into irrelevance. Chortle Best Newcomer Nominee 2025, as seen on Off Menu. 'Wickedly delicious' ***** (AYoungishPerspective.co.uk), **** (List), **** (BroadwayWorld.com).